Are you suffereing from a mental illness or supporting someone who is?

Suffereing

What is your gender?

Male

What is the nature of your illness?

ADHD and Depression . ADHD: Had it my whole life, didn’t seek treatment until mid twenties. Easily distracted, disorganized, difficultly starting/finishing tasks. Difficulty focusing. I can hyper focus on things I find interesting: hacking and gaming. Depression: Had it whole life in hind site. I can have lack of energy, be very hard on myself, and not recognize own accomplishments.

What area of technology/security are you in?

Reverse engineering: primary reverse mobile apps and find exploits at the os and application level

How has your illness/issue affected your work?

Cons: I was late A LOT. Late to meetings, always juggling multiple projects, also i was very hard on myself for not meeting goals. I also dreaded going into work at jobs I hate. Difficulty getting started/finishing tasks as well. Pros: if it was a task I liked, I DESTROYED it. I’m a machine when its an interesting problem.

Have any co-workers that were aware been generally supportive of you with this issue?

For the most part yes. I basically say “hey let me write this down” I use troll and evernote to track everything. I accept i have a short term buffer and try to minimize context switching as much as possible. Some old school management types couldn’t care less. I just don’t work for them :)

Have your friends been generally supportive of you with this issue?

Yes.

Has your family been generally supportive of you with this issue?

Sort of.

How long have you had this issue?

My whole life. I could have been so much more successfully had I realized this stuff sooner.

How long have you recognized that you were affected by this issue?

I think i ignored it for years. It wasn’t until i was juggling full time employment, and grad school at night I noticed how I couldn’t keep up like my other peers and classmates. I was in therapy at the time and explained my routine. My therapist said “have you heard of ADHD dummy!?” lol. She was spot on.

Does your family have a history of being affected by this issue?

Not sure

Do you see a therapist?

Yes. Honestly it was funny. What got me into therapy was that I had an attempted mugging and assault with a weapon. I was being treated for PTSD for about 12 months. Had that not happened I don’t know if i would have ever gotten my add and depression under control. I have SO MUCH more successful now. I mean I’m submitting CFP and talking at conferences now. How fucking cool is that? I would have never thought myself capable of that before treatment.

Do you self medicate/use substances?

Just with what’s prescribed.

What are you most afraid of?

Running out of antidepressants. Going off them is a bitch. You get sick and vomit :(

What makes you hopeful?

Just how much i’ve been able to accomplish since getting my shit together and starting meds. I started a journal and wrote down highlights this year: New job, hacked baby cameras, went to blackout, booth babe via hacking baby cams at blackout, met very famous subject matter experts in my field, hacked more IOT things, got first bug bounty submissions payed out, completed two grad classes, trained with Subject matter experts, started own business.

Do you have any other comments?

I implore anyone thinking about these issues with ADHD and depression to check out the following books

Delivered From Distraction

Driven To Distraction